Swears

After the screen got turned off too soon for Z's liking:

Z: Dad, can I use swear words in my OWN journal?

Charlie: Ahhh, I'm going to say.....no.

Z: What about crude language?

Wake up call

Zach: What are you doing here?

Betsy: I'm here to wake you up for school.

Zach: Then you have the worst job in this house.

I wish that school was like the army, where they yell at you until you form a perfect square. Squares are so much better than single file.

DAD! I have an idea....

...and it involves your wallet....

Interior Decorating

After Zach starting filling the living room floor with piles of plastic food, rifles, and kitchen chairs, I suggested that the toys be used in the room that we call the PLAY room. Charlie and I spent the better part of a year winterizing that space so that the kids would have a place to play, and still I'm tripping over toys in the living room. Maybe we did too good a job on that playroom, though. After a spirited discussion, Zach came clean about why the living room is far preferable to the play room:

"It's just that the living room looks much more like a dugout."

Zach, sweetheart, if you want to impress a girl, don't ever tell her that her living room looks like a dugout.

Complexity

Zach's teacher told me about this exchange, which happened on the first day of first grade.

Zach: Is learning to read a very complex process?

Teacher: ...probably not for you...

Food Family

Zach: I feel like you and Daddy are supposed to be married.

Betsy: Me, too, but why do you think so?

Zach: It's kind of like you are the butter and Daddy is the bread.

(Pause.)

And let's say that bread and butter and salt and pepper all go together. It's like you're the butter, Daddy's the bread, I'm the salt, and Katie's the pepper.