Cumbersome Costume

Zach was a Zach-in-the-box for Halloween. One neighbor, concerned about his mobility, asked:

Neighbor: How do you walk around wearing that box?

Zach: I got toes under here!

Even when I'm crying, I still feel happy.

Knock-Knock

Zach: Knock-knock

Betsy: Who's there?

Zach: Mr. Potato Head table.

Betsy: Mr. Potato Head table who?

Zach: (silence)

Betsy: Ok, let's try this. Knock-Knock.

Zach: Who's there?

Betsy: Orange.

Zach: Orange who?

Betsy: Orange you sorry you made me cry?

Zach: Ha ha. Now Mommy, THAT'S a joke!

Zach's job

Zach: Do you know what my job is?

Betsy: What?

Zach: I don't just find lost children. I also find lost sheep.

Betsy: You do?

Zach: Uh-huh. I find lost sheep and bring them home. And that's why I'm a super hero!

What I love

Betsy: You're having trouble falling asleep?

Zach: Uh-huh.

Betsy: Well, think about some happy things. What do you love?

Zach: I love Tahlia, and people, and trucks.

Boo-Boos

Charlie: Make sure you tell us whenever you get a boo boo. It's important that you tell us when you get hurt.

Zach: Daddy, it looks like I'm already full of boo boos.

Regarding Katie

This cutie needs a bath.

Circle Time

Maria (teacher): Zach, do you understand that circle time is mostly for listening? It's my turn to talk. You can ask questions at the end of circle time.

Zach: Yes, but, Maria. It's just that sometimes I have so MANY questions.

Sexism in the preschool set (sigh)

Betsy: Does an apple have a brain?
Zach: No

Betsy: Does a caterpillar have a brain?
Zach: (laughs) No.

Betsy: Do you have a brain?
Zach: Yes!

Betsy: Does Andrew have a brain?
Zach: Yes.

Betsy: Does Katie have a brain?
Zach: No.

Betsy: How come Katie doesn't have a brain?
Zach: Because she's not a boy.

Z: Mommy, we have to go to the doctor, because you and I are going to have a baby!

Foreman Zach

Betsy: Zach, it's time to clean up.

Z: OK. But I can't help clean up.

Betsy: Why not?

Z: Because I have to be in charge.

Future's so bright, you gotta wear shades

Z: Mommy, I don't like the dark.
Betsy: Why not?
Z: It makes my eyes like sunglasses.