Plumber/Plummer

On watching the cable guy working in our basement:

Zach: We need to tell him to fix the water main break.

Betsy: He doesn't work with water. He works with our computer, and our phone.

Zach: And I used to be a plumber, so I worked with plums.

Thinking posture

Betsy: Another good thing to know about table manners is not to put your elbows on the table.

Zach: But I have to put my elbow on the table when I'm trying to think. And use my 'magination.

New Job

Betsy: Zach, I want the blinds open. I want sunshine in the house. The blinds stay open in the daytime.

Zach: No, I want them closed.

Betsy: Sorry, but it's my house, and I like the sunshine. If you get a job and start paying the mortgage, you can decide how the blinds go.

Zach: Yes, and I just got a job!

Betsy (sigh): What job?

Zach: My job is to close the blinds.

Artist Daddy

Zach: Look at this smiley face.

(Charlie had drawn on Z's Magna Doodle.)

Betsy: Do you know who left that picture for you?

Zach: No.

Betsy: Who do you think?

Zach: I don't know.

Betsy: I think it was Daddy.

Zach: No, it wasn't Daddy.

Betsy: How do you know?

Zach: Because Daddy isn't a great artist.

Betsy: I actually think Daddy is a very good artist.

Zach: Yes, but he's not a great artist of smiley faces.

Mean Tools

Z: I don't want to go to Dr. J.

Charlie: Why not? I thought you liked Dr. J.

Z: He has mean tools.

Charlie: Mean tools?

Z: Yes, his tools are mean. He has shots.

Cinderella Synopsis

She's going to a party. Everyone has princess stuff. But she doesn't have any princess stuff. So an old lady comes and makes her dreams come true. And when the clock goes off, her dress goes away. I think because somebody else wanted to go to the party, and they didn't have a fancy dress. So they took her dress and it disappeared.

Dreams

Betsy: What are you going to dream about tonight?

Zach: Spending lots of time with Tahlia and Cole.

Not a game

Zach: When I kiss you, you have to kiss me. And when I hug you, you have to hug me.

Betsy: I like this game!

Zach: It's not a game. It's just love.

Katie on the run

(Troy and Jack are, intermittently, Zach's imaginary friends, his cousins, and, most often, his construction crew.)

Zach, about to leave the living room for the dining room: I gotta go.

Betsy: Ok. Call your mother.

Zach: Ok. (pointing to Katie) Hey, Troy and Jack said that she sometimes tries to escape. Keep an eye on her!

Charlie was so tired tonight that he took Katie out of the tub, brought her into Zach's room, and started putting Zach's pajamas on her.

Betsy: Why do you like things with wheels?

Zach: Because they're beautiful!

What is a tree's job?

Going the Distance

Zach seems to do better at school when he blows off some steam first....


Betsy: So you're going to do 5 laps around the house. FAST! .....There's lap 1! .....(waiting).....Where's lap 2?

Zach: No lap 2.

Betsy: Why not?

Zach: Batteries ran out.

Wow

Zach (after perusing a toy catalog): Guys, COME! Look at this cool thing!

Grandma: What did you find?

Zach: It's a cart, and it has wheels. Grandpa, come look!

Grandpa: Let me get my glasses, so I can read it.

Zach: I don't need you to read it. I just need you to say "WOW!"

(Later)

Betsy: Did you say "WOW!"?

Grandpa: Sure did. It was $300.

Z: I use the potty every day now.

Grandma: That's wonderful! When did that start?

Z: That starts in 5 minutes.

Shhhh....

Zach (upon waking up): Are Grandma and Grandpa still here?

Betsy: No. But we're going to their house tomorrow. And the next day, we have a BIG surprise.

Zach, after a pause: You know, some people TELL surprises...