church

Zach: WHY CAN'T I HAVE FREEDOM!!!

humor

Zach:  Isn't this funny?  

... It's funny.  Deal with it.

comb

Zach: (protesting) Mom!  I comb my hair at least once a week!

hot sause

Zach grabs a bag of chips and pours his favorite hot sauce in a bowl.  Then Mom gets mad at him for eating nothing but junk food today, and takes the chips away from him and gives him a peach instead.    He looks down longly to his salsa, and looks at the peach.   After thinking for a moment, he proceeds to eat the peach by continuously dipping it in the hot salsa.

Small Complications

Betsy: How's it going these days with the reading disability? Are you keeping up pretty well at school?

Z: It's not really a disability anymore, more like a small complication. I'm proud of my disability.

Betsy: Huh? You're proud of it? Why?

Z: How many disabilities let you walk and talk and hear and be an awesome kid?

Betsy: You're completely right. You got off easy with your disability.

Swears

After the screen got turned off too soon for Z's liking:

Z: Dad, can I use swear words in my OWN journal?

Charlie: Ahhh, I'm going to say.....no.

Z: What about crude language?

Wake up call

Zach: What are you doing here?

Betsy: I'm here to wake you up for school.

Zach: Then you have the worst job in this house.