The Princess and the Queen

Zach, to Katie: Katie, do you want to be a princess or a queen?

Looking at me: I know, Mom. "Queens have all the power." But princesses are more beautifuler.

Deep Thoughts

Mom, I'll tell you something. You don't have to be a monkey to eat a banana. And you don't have to be a fisherman to cook fish.

Lake Sunapee

Zach, 5, after a fish-catching, lake swimming, rocket shooting, ice cream eating, canoeing, sand castle building, marshmallow roasting, sparkler twirling kind of day:

Mommy, when we're here, the days seem really short.

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle

Less than enthusiastic about writing thank-you notes for his birthday presents, Zach started shredding the paper napkins that were on the kitchen table.

Betsy: Zach! Stop wasting napkins!

Zach: I'm not wasting them - I'm making more!

Sensible nickname

Instead of a toddler, let's call Katie a tw0-dler. Because she's 2, not todd.

Waiting

Betsy: Zach, you have to get dressed. Grandma and Grandpa are going to be here any minute.

Zach: Awww, that never goes well.

Betsy: What?

Zach: Whenever you say they're going to be here any minute. Actually, that means it's going to be a really long time.

Why Grandpa can't win at soccer...

Rules for playing soccer with a yoga ball:

1. Zach is always the goalie.
2. If the ball goes over Zach's head - no goal.
3. If the ball hits Zach's head - no goal.
4. Grandpa is allowed only four goals, at Zach's discretion.
5. Goals can be disallowed, at Zach's discretion. This may occur numerous times in the course of a game.
6. The game ends when Zach gets tired.
7. Additional rules may be established during play, at Zach's discretion.
   

Zach, at the game's end: You're old, so you're not a powerful winner.